Wednesday, 13 August 2014

My holiday

WALT: write to inform

Success Criteria
  • Create a clear image in the readers mind
  • Have a clear message (big idea)
  • Powerful words (precise, clear)
  • Reread writing and check for impact

I choose this piece to publish because... So people can know what i did in Australia and it is like they are there with me 
I need to practise... I need to do my plan in more ways 
I am pleased about... what i have choice what to do 

WALT: edit and publish our writing

Success Criteria
  • Use a font and colour that can be easily read
  • Must make sense
  • Correct spelling
  • Correct punctuation
  • Change at least 3 words to add impact for the reader

When I went to Australia for one week with my mum I went because I was seeing my sister. We both went shopping, the next day. I got to pick which shops we went to. I got some things for friends and I gave the things for them and they loved it. I got lots of stuff. I got some things from Smiggle like some little animal rubbers and some pens that have got lots of colours and some key rings. On the 5th night my mum Jenna and I went out for dinner. I had some nuggets and chips and it was so yum. When I was done I wanted more, so I had some ice cream with chocolate all over it. I am glad I am going back soon. Mum, my sister and I, went shopping the next day because my sister had to find a dress because she is getting married in September and I am going to be a flower girl! YAY!!! We got to go to some shops that I wanted to go to . On the day my mum and I had to go home, I was really really sad because I was not going to see her in a long time because it is May now and not September. I will miss her a lot.

You have used the success criteria as you have published your writing to make sure it is easy to read and ready to share with an audience. You have shared you holiday in Australia with your audience. 
Remember to use your senses to add more detail to your writing, what could you hear, what did you say? how did you feel about shopping?

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